Sometimes things just get so clogged up with junk it and slows you down so much it's best just to cut your losses start over. In this case that applies to my primary desktop at home and I'm spending the afternoon reinstalling Windows XP.
I'm about 3 hours in and anticipate another 2-3 hours to get most everything reinstalled, updated, and back to where I was this morning, only hopefully much faster.
UPDATE: Still working on it but I wanted to recommend and article to anyone else who wants to tackle this 'fun' project. It's here and has some great tips to keep you from having to reinstall everything (like Firefox) and it saves a bunch of settings for you. Most programs will still need to be reinstalled, but these tips saved me a bunch of time. Thanks, PC World!