"Martin Luther King Jr. didn't change the world by saying, 'I have a complaint.' "I saw this quote the other day and thought about how true it is. It seems that many times Christians are known for what they complain about - what they're against rather than what they are for.-- Artist Chris Jordan
Not that we shouldn't take a stand or that all complaining is wrong, but there is a difference between constructive and unconstructive complaining. I’m reminded of an old joke supposedly from Mark Twain: “Everybody complains about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.”
Some good thoughts on constructive vs. unconstructive complaining from another blog:
It sounds like a balanced (and biblical) way to approach change - and life! Instead of complaining, grumbling, griping, gossiping, etc., we should offer suggestions, ideas, critique, feedback and input in order to build up rather than tear down.Unconstructive: Complain about what bugs you the most
Constructive: Complain about the right thing
Is the problem really the problem? Or is there a deeper issue going on? Complain about the problem, not just the symptoms.Unconstructive: Complain when you feel the most annoyed
Constructive: Complain at the right time
There are times to complain and times not to. Choose a moment where there’s time, will and energy to deal constructively with the issue. Five minutes before an important meeting starts is probably not the time.Unconstructive: Complain to whoever will listen
Constructive: Complain to someone who can do something about it
If your boss is the problem, complaining to your co-workers can be a lot of fun, but it changes nothing. Complain to your boss or to the boss’s boss.Unconstructive: Point fingers.
Constructive: Look at yourself first.
Maybe it’s just you who has a problem and everyone else is fine with the situation? Try to recognize those situations where everything is actually fine - you’re just being irrationally annoyed (happens to me all the time).Also: To what extent are you a part of the problem? How are you contributing to either the problem or to the solution? Before complaining about others, make sure you know what your role in the issue is.
Unconstructive: Seek blame
Constructive: Seek solutions
Going in with the intention of making people admit they’re at fault is rarely productive. Does it really matter whose fault it is? Forget blame and focus on moving on and finding lasting solutions.Unconstructive: Only complain
Constructive: Also appreciate what’s good
Complain when there’s a reason to, but remember to appreciate the good stuff also - don’t just always complain.
One of our core values at Journey North Church is that we "focus on what unites, not on what divides." I'm so excited and proud to be a part of such a great group of people who want to change the world for Jesus Christ - not by complaining - but by loving and serving others in His name!
